Chicken Shop

The Five Guys style chicken shop that no one asked for

Opening Ramble:

Welcome to 2024 folks. Specifically welcome to January 2024. A lot of folks usually do something by way of sacrifice. Either to atone for the gluttony of the Christmas/New Year’s season or a “fresh start, new me° intention.¹ So we’re going to start off with a humble chicken shop. Not just any chicken shop, THE Chicken Shop. A growing chain across London with a huge sign alerting you it’s #1 on Google for Fried Chicken. As many know, the Google Maps review system can vary as much as the London weather. But with so many around and still to maintaining a high rating, implies some good stuff… I hoped anyway as I ventured in.

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The Order (dishes as described on the menu):

Mains

1. Spice Up Your Life Chicken Burger

   Chicken fillet, lettuce, spicy shake, samurai sauce, spicy slaw

   £8.50 Rating : 4.5/10

2. Little Spice Up

   Tender, hot seasoning, samurai sauce, spicy slaw, toasted mini bun

   £4.75 Rating : 6.5/10

Sides

1. Angry Fries

   Crinkle cut fries topped with samurai sauce and hot shake

   £4.95 Rating : 7.2/10

2. Chili Crisp Mayo

   £0.75 Rating : 5.0/10

Drinks

1. Bottomless Drink
   £3.50 Rating : NA/10

2. Water

   £1.50 Rating : NA/10

Total Bill incl tip: £23.95

Overall Rating: 5.8/10

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Review:

The Vibes

The Chicken Shop closest to me in Putney is giant. It’s like a full restaurant. This gave them space to really provide comfortable seating and the place feels airy. There’s fairly corny signage dotted around the place, nothing too offensive to the eye but nothing particularly memorable either. One thing that was memorable for the wrong reasons however, the vibe of the service and staff. It just felt off. In fact, I didn’t like the vibes at all. I didn’t like the fact I had to ask for them to unlock the toilet or for a cup for water. It felt off with the vibe of the place. It feels like it wants people to spend time and enjoy your chicken meal with the nice leather couches etc but we’re watching you like a hawk so no funny business. Like what am I going to do in the bathroom, beyond steal your toilet paper.² But I’m willing to ignore all of this if the food bangs. In similar fashion to growing up, you don’t care about the hygiene rating of your local chicken shop if the food slaps.

The Burger

I ordered the spicy chicken sandwich but if the sticker and receipt didn’t tell me, I would have thought it was the regular. The spicy shake, which is their spicy seasoning, is invisible to the eye and tastebuds. Probably because the sandwich was completely saturated by the Samurai sauce. I’m sorry to say the marketing worked on me. I saw Samurai sauce and thought, “ooo that sounds exotic and will have some sort of bite”. It had as much bite as a corked crocodile. No spice, no heat, just like a runny mayo, the sauce reduced the burger to just a hot sloppy mess. It’s a shame because the actual chicken was juicy and well fried and the bun went well with it. But you will not notice either after the first bite because of that bland deluge of sauce. Also they throw on lettuce, which I understand because it’s classic chicken burger fare. But again, if the sauce drenches everything, you’re removing the crunch element it’s supposed to provide and basically just adding water to the already bland sandwich.

The lil sandwich

You might be expecting more of the same for the lil sandwich as the burger, I definitely was. I was dead wrong however. Whether on purpose or by accident, definitely by accident let’s be real, they’ve nailed the ratios on this one. Firstly, you can actually see and taste the spicy shake seasoning. The bun to chicken to sauce ratio is so much more pleasant and delicious. You can see it has more structure throughout the sandwich too. I still won’t rate it highly because of two reasons:

1. It’s still not spicy. I can’t imagine how boring the regular must be but even my German/American partner found it quite boring.

2. 4.75?!?!?! Brother I can get two fries, two sandwiches and a drink for that, even during Cozzie Livs, do better.

The Sides

The fries were probably the best thing at the Chicken Shop. Similar sauce drenching problems for the first layer of fries but they were also much more liberal with the spicy shake again. The dust of seasoning helped prevent the bottom layer from getting too soggy. A good thing too because Chicken Shop does fry everything pretty perfectly, no notes. I’m glad I shared the fries because after a while, the sauce made everything a bit too cloying. I was done with eating them after a few bites. I took a few bites extra because I was raised to always finish my food, but even childhood training was discarded along with the fries because of that sauce. Man, I really hate that samurai sauce.

Conclusion

I don’t understand who this place is for beyond gentrifiers who’ve heard about London Chicken Shop culture. If I want a cheap chicken sandwich, I go down to boss man’s shop. If you grew up and/or went to secondary school in London, you probably had a local chicken shop brand that was THE ONE. Chicken Connoisseur built a whole YouTube channel off the premise and the nostalgia of where a lot of Londoners went during their teens. It’s almost a rite of passage. Did you go to the chicken shop with your friends ? Did you get a discount on your wings or even a free wing from boss man because you were elite ? If I want a really good, expensive chicken sandwich, I would go to a pub or even Nando’s now that they deliver. This feels like a gentrified version of your local chicken shop. Like Five Guys wanted to create a chicken shop but no free nuts and additional toppings. Or they tried to paper trace a Shake Shack but without the quality or care. I honestly didn’t think I disliked it as much as is probably coming across in this review, but as a wrote about it, it really annoyed me. If you’re drunk and passing by, get the lil sandwich just before you get into your Uber. Anything else, probably walk another 100 metres to somewhere better and/or cheaper.

Thank you for reading my first review of 2024, I hope the rest of the year is full of tastier options and frankly, more fun eating experiences. For my paid folks, I’ve included some additional content. For my free subscribers, I will see y’all next week!