Chestnut Bakery
Best Croissant in London ? Not sure... Masters of Baking? For sure
Opening Ramble:
I’m covering a lot of pastries in this article so it’s going to be a brief ramble. The backdrop for this blog is the dead Christmas - NYE period where anything goes.1 A time when calories don’t count and breakfast can be anything you want it to be. Perfect opportunity to go to the Chestnut bakery, hallowed patisserie (on various IG posts and TikToks). I went to the Victoria branch because I thought Central London would be way too packed with tourists at that time of year. The tourists were still in full force at Victoria though.2 The stakes were high, would the cost of my rising social anxiety in large crowds be worth Chestnut’s delicious wares? Let’s find out !
The Order (dishes as described on the menu):
Pastries
Plain Croissant
£3.65 Rating : 8.5/10
Chestnut Roll
£6.15 Rating : 8.7/10
Kimchi Monkey Bread
£6.45 Rating : 9.5/10
White Baguette
£2.90 Rating : 10/10*
Drinks
Latte
£3.40 Rating : 7.5/10
I’m not going to review the latte because I’m not a coffee person at all. My partner said it was decent and she’s snobbish about coffee so if you go and hate it…direct all messages at her.
Total Bill incl tip: £22.55
Overall Rating: 8.8/10
Review:
The Vibe
The vibe is weirdly perfectly split across the establishment. The bakery/takeaway side is very pared down. The food is proudly displayed, but behind glass that makes it difficult to photograph. Even if you do manage to get a good picture, there is going to be an industrial kitchen behind which doesn’t make for a great background. That’s a positive in my book, food is to be seen and eaten. You don’t need to take pictures in the bakery itself, unlike neighbouring bakeries which heavily promote style over substance.3 There were nice Christmassy accents when I went, but overall it was much more French in it’s style. Chaotic, loud, coffee and pastries being transported and delivered rapidly with just enough structure to work. A welcome change from the sterile Scandi vibes spreading across most modern bakeries, which I detest. The dine in section of the bakery is almost the exact opposite. It felt much more serene and somewhere you’d want to spend your time.4
I felt sorry for the staff; even on a random weekday during the dead period between Christmas and New Years, it was RAMMED. So while I found the service fairly crappy, I fully understand why, and will reserve judgement when I see it in a less chaotic state.
Front and centre amidst the chaos in the bakery however is their “Best Croissant UK” award.5 The reason why I came to Chestnut. So enough talking and let’s roll down to the food.
The Food
The Croissant - The award winner
It is a beautiful pastry. Each croissant was identical and the folks there are masters, that was clear before I even took a bite. The lamination and shine on the croissant, the dark colour of the browned shell was beautiful. Not a hint of burnt pastry however, just flaky buttery goodness. This is where we reach the limit I dive into the croissant merits, especially plain ones. I can appreciate the skill gone into it but ultimately they’re fine.6 I wanted to see if the best in London would move me to start ordering them. Probably not is the answer, sadly. I would prefer things with more oomph, but as a croissant goes, it was very good.
Kimchi Monkey Bread - The Star
The name struck me instantly, and I knew I was going to get that regardless of what my partner wanted. Annoyingly, she agreed it sounded delicious which meant I had to share. But at the time I was like “oh okay, glad we agree”.7 One bite in and I realized we should have got two. It was amazing. Even though it was as cold as the Hyde Park bench we dined on, it was sublime. The kimchi was deliciously tangy and spicy enough to keep you interested, as the flavour of mature cheddar barged into the conversation as you were chewing. Followed swiftly by the buttery monkey bread which came swinging in to finish the experience. The white and black sesame seeds, added a gentle nuttiness. Should you be lucky enough to get some cream cheese on your bite, the whole thing elevates even further. It provided the perfect counter balance to the spicy tang of the kimchi . The kimchi monkey bread somehow surpassed my lofty expectations. It was more complex, delicious and moreish than I anticipated. I need to go back and have one warmed up and then it’ll probably get a perfect score.
The Chestnut Roll - Hidden star
My first glance at the Chestnut Roll, disappointment was the first emotion. Peep the meat to roll ratio below, Mr Greggs would be rolling over in his grave. It’s not exactly generous on the filling. However, what that little wiener lacks in size, it more than makes up for in meaty umami flavour. It combined so well with the flaky buttery crust that you rarely get with “premium sausage rolls”. Usually premium sausage rolls have fistfuls of meat and a thin layer of pastry. The Chestnut roll moves differently as seen with the other key difference hiding within the pastry and meat. You can barely make it out in the cross section below. Rather than some sort of pickle, Chestnut employed a mustard spread around the sausage. It was sharp and keen, exactly what you want a mustard spread to be. It really helped cut the richness of the pastry and the meat. I didn’t expect to like the Chestnut roll as much as I did, but I kept going back for more. Honestly the only thing holding back the rating is the pricing. It is a really good sausage roll but is it almost 5x better than a Gregg’s vegan sausage roll? Nah. If it was around £4, it would rank so much higher for me. Also reading this back, I’m thinking this is kind of just a luxury hot dog, so I really don’t think it should be higher than £5.
The Baguette - The people’s champions
One of the best, if not the best baguette I’ve ever had. It’s exterior had that Ratatouille Level crunch, when Remy has peak ASMR snap.8 The insides were so spongy, Remy could have trampolined in it. Now onto the subjective part of the review. It earned a 10/10 rating because it was the perfect vehicle for my Christmas Day Leftovers sandwich. Even with the heft of all of the roasted veg, roast chicken, stuffing, gravy, it held firm.9 It absorbed the gravy in all its nooks and crannies. It was faced with arguably the hardest test bread will ever face and it stood firm and shone beautifully. Maybe I’ll have different thoughts when I construct a less elaborate sandwich. If it can handle a full Christmas spread however, I’m sure it can handle a jamon y beurre or whatever.
Conclusion
I think I need a certified Croissant lover to verify if Chestnut bakery genuinely has the UK’s best croissants. But you don’t need to be an expert to know it’s very good and barely scratches the surface of their wonderful work. I’m glad it’s a bit of a journey away for me, enough to where I would have to build in time for a visit. Otherwise, I’d be there everyday and my blood vessels would probably be 46% butter. I cannot recommend it enough, if you can put up with how busy it is. Good things come to those who wait and great things come to those who can extend their patience it turns out!
So only the month delay between initial tasting and the blog finally dropping…I’m getting better at least
Logically I should have known because it’s a major transport hub but still annoyed me
Peggy Porschen stand up
Almost like it was designed that way
Given by the fancy butter people. It’s fancy because it has a higher fat content I think. I accidentally picked it up once and honestly it was the best piece of toast I’d ever had so I back whatever they do. Didn’t think they would be in the award business but it’s 2024, anyone can do anything.
I’ve always been of the opinion that I’ll never make croissants because it just takes too long in terms of payoff. However recently I’ve been seeing some interesting IG recipes. Maybe a future post to see how viable it is for an amateur baker.
Master Pokerface in action
I resisted snapping it in half like he did but it was really hard. Who doesn’t aspire to be rat in charge of a Parisian bistro.
I tried so many angles to take a picture but it was the most hideous looking sandwich I’ve ever seen. It was as hideous as it was delicious. I’m a master architect of sandwich functionality but not aesthetics and I’m okay with that on this occasion.